Calamity Shazaam in the Kitchen

This morning I took the bus to work because it was raining. The back half of the bus was jammers with school kids being loud and obnoxious which, as I seem to recall, is exactly what teenagers do on the bus. However it made conditions on the bus sort of grody - noisy, humid, smelly, and crowded.   Usually I get on the bus and there are about five other passengers, so you can't blame me for thinking "oh sh*t, so THIS is purgatory! I didn't make the rapture. F*ck!"  Because being stuck on a noisy, humid, smelly, and crowded bus full of teenagers is exactly what I imagine purgatory to be.  However, I managed to get off the bus at the right stop and when I got to work, look what a co-worker brought in: Doughboy Donuts.  Purgatory averted.

Especially when "pankakes" are involved.

Come to think about it, I am really lucky to have La Maman that I do. Seriously, she is the bomb. When Dad was traveling for work, which he would do for long stretches at a time, La Maman had to be Le Papa also and she did it with aplomb. Once, when I was really in the throes of Laura Ingalls-itis, La Maman took my sister and I to Edaville Railroad in Carver to go fishing. I seem to remember we took the little train to the "Fishing Area" and La Maman rented us all the appropriate gear, namely a rod and  couple of dirty worms. Quite calmly she jammed a worm on a hook and we cast the line as well as we could for a couple of novices. I was totally in awe even if there was no chance of us catching anything in four inches of water. She had hooked the worm, with her BARE HANDS just to give us a chance to go fishin'. My mother was not like the other mothers I knew: French, gorgeous, smart, and independent, she never catered to my whims of sameness. I got homemade lunches -...

I took the day off today to get some stuff done and one of those things was tiling the master bathroom floor. Great day in the morning, tiling is HARD!!! Anyway, I didn't want to break for lunch for too long or I would have abandoned the dumb thing. So I emptied a can of chickpeas in to a pan of hot olive oil and sauteed them with basil and garlic. Then I tossed the whole thing with a little cheese, and done. OMFG so delicious!!!!

I mostly just make up recipes as I go along. Like anything else in the whole world, cooking stuff you want to actually eat takes practice. Some people need recipes, some people (me!) just wing it, and all 100% of us will make something so revolting that it can't even be saved with ketchup and rice, or ice cream and maple syrup. But about 96% of what we make will be edible, I promise you that. Which brings me to the soup I made today. I have a friend who is about to go through 35 days of radiation and I promised that I would make them some food. The only requirement is that it is vegetarian. My only requirement is that it does taste like crap, because radiation is going to be bad enough as it is without having to choke down crap. Also, soup is always easy to make and eat and this turned out to be delicious AND easy.  Without further ado and adon't, here you are, the recipe in pictures! Oh wait, one small ado: it will make everything so much less stressful if you take th...

The April/May 2011 issue of the James Beard Foundation member newsletter has compiled a list of food lovers Then and Now, which appears on page 6. The eighth item down on the Now list is: Menu Curating. OMFG MENU F*CKING CURATING!!! That's it. I am having chicken McNuggets* for lunch. (The real kind from factory farms and which are made out of ground up chicken beaks and feet and sawdust. F*ck you foodies and the precious free-range, grass-fed, undyed chicken we rode in on! Harumph!)

The renovation HAS to be finished by Labor Day. No ifs, ands, or buts.  Which means that the last project to be finished will be the kitchen. You would think that with all the no-cooking I am not doing, the weight would fall off. But no. I am now a scavenger eater. It's pathetic. I have nothing in my fridge, and I've eaten almost everything out of the freezer, and almost everything I've canned.  I will some nights have popcorn for dinner, or pasta with garlic and Dutch vegetable seasoning I found in Aruba. (No, not a narcotic. I am pretty sure.) Although I did discover that a dinner of plain yogurt, maple syrup, and a kiwi will tide you over until the next morning.  Also, thank heavens for eggs. I will pretty much eat eggs with everything, on anything.  Just thought you'd like to know why there are no lovely food photos lately.