Calamity Shazaam in the Kitchen

I am trying REALLY hard to be good so when I went to try out the new(ish) South End Upper Crust I got just a slice and a small salad. In case you are wondering why one slice and one small salad is me being good, when that is usually what satisfies most people, I say - have we met? Because I am that person who can almost always polish off an entire pizza. If I was told I could only eat one thing forever on a desert, I would pick pizza. Or ice cream. Anyway. So I've had Upper Crust in the past, usually delivery, and it's always been ok. I prefer Emma's in Cambridge for thin slice, or Nicole's for thick slice. But Emma's doesn't deliver. And I didn't feel like Nicole's. Turns out that I don't actually like the slices at Upper Crust. Actually I don't even think I would call it a slice. It was shaped more like a sail - with a jib, or something. There were too many sides. It wasn't right. Plus the staff were kind of odd. Not so friendly, but not ...

Someone once told me that if a chicken got into a bag of feed, it would eat and eat and eat at the feed until it choked to death because chickens don't have that thing that tells them to stop. And that when they do that you have to either stick your finger down its throat and scrape it out, or you have to give them a good, upside-down shake. What is that anyway? An epiglottis maybe? Anyway, whatever it is, I don't have one either. For breakfast today (because I have today and tomorrow OFF!!!!) I went and got some veggie sushi. I think it was a 16 piece tray of cucumber, red pepper, avocado, aaaaaaaaaand, uh some other veg. Carrot! Yeah, that was the fourth one. So I buy this tray and I get home and I am thinking, ok I am just going to eat 4 pieces for right now and have the rest a little later. But right after I eat those first 4, another 4 fly right into my mouth! After that, fuggetaboudit. I just ate the rest. Oh, and I also had a bottle of chocolate soymilk with it. And now...

I found these awesome cards from this place in England . I love, love, love them but they are sold individually for £ 1.50 which works out to about $3. And with shipping I imagine that bumps it up to about $5. Which bumps it right out of my price range. But they are still going to go on my wish list. That and the Crab Apple cards. Love it! Oh and also, I totally want one of these : Sad but true, the way to my heart is with soft serve.

I was reading one of my favorite food blogs ever, Food on the Food, written by the hilarious Tammy D and she posted about her five minutes of tv fame . Which of course I had to watch to see if her own self-critique was even a little true (it wasn't). However I found myself empathizing with her because this one time, at band camp... No, no wait I am kidding! But for real there was this one time I was on Chronicle when they did a feature on the bakery where I worked and to my horror they spliced together all the mentions I made of the kinds of cookies we produced. Which made me sound like Bubba Gump . You know, the shrimp guy from Forrest Gump who had the line that went something like this: "Dey's uh, shrimp-kabobs, shrimp creole, shrimp gumbo, pan fried, deep fried, stir-fried, there's pineapple shrimp, lemon shrimp, coconut shrimp, pepper shrimp, shrimp soup, shrimp stew, shrimp salad, shrimp and potatoes, shrimp burger, shrimp sandwich. Only in my case it went more li...

I will eat any food that is pink. For real.

Has to be pumpernickel bread with a thin coat of butter and Marmite . Only I am using Earth Balance instead of butter because of The Oversized Hassock . It's a delicious sandwich. A little bitter, a little salty, a little creamy, and a little nutty. Just the right kind of lazy girl sandwich I need.

So my impulse purchase at Trader Joes the other night ( with the refund I got from the mousy-eaten chocolate chips and the phantom bottles of water ) was a bucket of mini cocoa meringues. I love, LOVE, that Trader Joes sells cookies in buckets. Even better I love their cocoa meringues. They taste like chocolate astronaut ice cream kind of. Well the astronaut ice cream like I remember it tasting, not like astronaut ice cream actually tastes like. Let me just warn you that everything tastes better to me in retrospect. With food, I am exceptionally forgiving. I could eat a braised cow testicle smothered in sriracha sauce and no matter how much I gagged eating it, it would only take me about a year or less to reflect on the experience and say "well it had a certain chewy piquancy that cannot quite be described." Anyway, back to the meringues. They do not at all taste like braised cow testicles in sriracha. They taste more like hot chocolate. Hot chocolate in meringue form. Utterl...