Saturday, December 13, 2008

Despite every effort to the contrary, I am STILL alive.

It is pretty remarkable to me that I have lived through this entire day.

Firstly this morning I was too lazy to go get allergy meds before starting some baking and as it turns out I REALLY have to take them before going anywhere near flour in raw form.

As a result I spent the afternoon in a lethargic, sniffling, haze. By the time I scrounged up two Benedryl from the back of the cabinet, and had a mini beer I'd already developed a few hives and something that resembled a blister on my bottom lip. HOT!

Then I tripped on the stairs and bonked my knee right in the soft spot. Not so much dramatic as frickin' painful. This is the same knee I fell on with all my weight and a three year old on my shoulders when I stepped into a pothole in the dark. I am not entirely positive how much longer Mr. Righty will put up with my abuse.

And then for dinner I made buccatini with tomato sauce. Seems harmless right? Well let me tell you - I made the sauce with roasted tomatos, onion, and garlic, throwing everything into the Cuisi just like every other time.

Only this time the onion (which I always throw in raw) was apparently old and full of sulphuric acid. Because as I am pureeing the whole stupid thing together, my eyes begin to burn. Like really, really, really burn. Streaming and burning.

Oh craaaaaaaaap.

But you know what? I ate it anyway. And I totally ate it crying the entire time. Inhaling up clouds of sulphuric acid I am sure. What the HELL is wrong with me??

I will probably have the worst heartburn ever in the universe later. Seriously. If I don't die first from all the sulphuric acid.

Perhaps I ought to cap the whole thing off with an eggplant. Yes. Perhaps an eggplant will finish me off once and for all.

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