Two things I am bad at. Like, REALLY, bad.

I cannot order a sandwich freestyle and I cannot make a good salad. 

Everytime I stand in front of a sandwich menu I lose my mind a little. "Oooh pickles, I like pickles! And onions, ooh and smoked turkey, ahh yes I also like ham, olives - why not? Mustard? Chutney? Delicious! Add some provolone and cheddar please! Oh yes, toast it too!"


This is why sandwiches disappointment me A LOT. Like today I ordered a roast beef with mustard, mayo, lettuce, onions, on a toasted bulkie roll. While that doesn't sound bad, let me tell you the toasted bulkie was all kinds of wrong wrapped around cold, rare meat.  Blech!

I have a similar approach to salads: a little bit of everything, only nothing that goes together. Just stuff I know that I like -  hard boiled eggs and dried cranberries and cottage cheese and beans and chicken and cold pasta and sliced beets and feta cheese and chickpeas and shredded carrots and broccoli florets. 

Then I panic because it's a salad bar and I don't have any lettuce on my salad. So I will lump some chopped romaine on top which I will later just push to the side to get to the olives and the croutons and bacon bits and sunflower seeds.

I know that this says something deep about my psyche but I don't care. I am pretty sure that I can get by on only knowing how to make a peanut butter & Fluff sandwich and as for salads, well as everyone knows, you don't win friends with salad!


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